please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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