he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Two words: nipple clamps
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