I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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