took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
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We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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