I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
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I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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