So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
