I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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