Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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