I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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