i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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