pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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