tequila makes me forget i have legs
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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