Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize