Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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