So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
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Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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