I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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