Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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