oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize