i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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