they need to just BURY HIM!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
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She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just had sex on a roof
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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