You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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