We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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