woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize