I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm eating all of the evidence.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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