i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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