That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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