I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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