you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize