I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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