mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I had to cum in my sink.
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