He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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