you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
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Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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