why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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