I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize