i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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