i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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