So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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