Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We're using joints as your birthday candles
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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