then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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