Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize