very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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