I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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