wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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