Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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