Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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