You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize