She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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