He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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