if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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