Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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