I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
too bad you live with your parents still
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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